MOM IS MY REASON TO LIVE

I wish I wasn’t so sensitive but at the same time I’m so grateful to be such a sensitive being and to feel so deeply about even the most minor things. It’s truly a power I’ve been learning to control. I have decided to opt out of the endless loop of seeking comfort in others and just fully provide it for myself. I am not fully closing myself off to connection and intimacy, but I’m no longer letting it affect my emotions so negatively. Attachment is suffering.

All I want to focus on is my Mom and my money. I want to give her a good life just like she gives one to me. That’s all I care about. Everything and everybody else seems to disappoint each and every time. She’s the only one that’s consistently shown up without envy, betrayal, hatred, malice, and fickle feelings. I will work every day and devote every moment I can to make sure I provide for her, that’s all that will make me happy. And part of what makes her happy is me being healthy and thriving.